“I’m home” by Utatsuki Kaori

I was randomly browsing through my KOTOKO Discography this morning and stumbled on this song. And boy, what a piece. It makes me tear up everytime I listen to it. Why? Cos the song is awesome. I particularly am fond of things with the homecoming genre, and this strong struck strings in my heart.

The translated lyrics first (thanks to convex for checking through the translation). Thanks to lyrics.wikia.com for the kanji lyrics.

If one goes down to the end of this road,
if I am not wrong, there will be one big cherry blossom tree
I remember the smile of my mother
as she pulled my small hand and looked back {;_;}

The deep red sunset forgave everything,
and within the nostalgic smell,

the fact that I ended up becoming an adult
I do not regret it, but
The something which I always held dear back then
is not visible anymore
It’s sudden, but I stood still
I’m home

The sand pit in the park where we all went together
The number of people there are so few that it feels painful
Covered in dirt and dust, not minding even the fact
that I was wearing my favourite clothes, we frolicked in the sunset

I had dreams back then, and I was able to be selfish too {Ah the childhood}
Within the warm smell,

I became an adult and realised
Surely that smile is the strength {Mother’s smile}
Even the countless tears turn into raindrops
and made the seeds grow

I wanted to see that face and came back
I’m home

I’m happy to have become an adult
There are many things yet unseen to me, but
if the irreplacable moments of talking with you like this are there
The place I can return to; surely that is here
I’m home

The place I can return to; surely that is here
I’m home

Now the song itself:

Next up would be my rant on this song. Well, here, the person is back home, back to where she spent her childhood frolicking and with her family. But she “became an adult” and left home. And now, she’s back again after a while, and is reminiscing about the past: how her mother would take her hand and they’d walk along the road at whose end, an enormous cherry blossom tree exists. She has realised that the precious time she spent here is irreplaceable and that her home is a place she can return to.

This phrase “A place to return to” is one of my favourites. Just imagine, there is a place you can return to after the toils of the day, or even the toils of life after many years. To be able to call a place “home”, ie “a place to return to” is truly a great thing, from what I think.

As for “the tears turn into raindrops” part, my conjecture is that after she left home, her mother waited for her to come back and shed tears. She realises that even those tears were not in vain; they made seeds bloom. There should be a deeper meaning to this as well.

I couldn’t get the actual meaning for some parts of the song, and it’s quite likely I might’ve misinterpreted or overlooked something. Any discussion on this is welcome and appreciated.

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